The Journal of the Magician of Black Chaos
by Kawaii Kuroi Mahotsukai
Summary: I wrote this under the influence of coco puffs o.o; So it's insane. Anyway, faint hints of shounen-ai and the MOBC's thoughts on life. Yay?


Ever wonder what the Magician of Black Chaos was thinking? Here's your chance to find out! Genre fluctuates, going from somewhat-angsty, to slightly-perverted humor at the end. One-shot, short, and likely very, very, VERY stupid.  
  
Anything between two apostrophes is supposed to be something the MOBC has written. Any thing between parentheses you see between those apostrophes is supposed to be taken as though our dear friend the Magician of Black Chaos has written it.  
  
Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Yu-Gi-Oh. Please, please don't remind me by suing me. Please?  
  
WARNINGS: Slight angst, slight perverted-ness, implied yaoi and slight, mostly implied, shounen-ai.  
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'I've often wondered why everyone goes on and on and on about life, as though it's some impossibly deep, unfathomable thing. Who knows, maybe for them, it is. As far as I'm concerned, though, life is a shallow, spinning wheel... a sick cycle carousel, I suppose you could call it.'  
  
'No, I'm serious. When you've lived as long as I have, you eventually decide what your philosophy of life is. Mine is the carousel. You're going in circles, up and down, and you're trying to catch something that's perpetually a few inches out of your reach, taunting you. And yet, you have to keep up appearances, keep smiling even though you feel like screaming because of the agony of LIVING... It's not really living, when you think about it that way, is it? It's more along the lines of.... existing...'  
  
A scowl spread across his face as he scrawled the next line.  
  
'What am I DOING? Since when do I keep a journal? Admitting what you think, even to a book, is a weakness.... I can't AFFORD a weakness! I've only survived this long by being infallible...'  
  
A sigh.  
  
'Being a Duel Monster, I really don't have much of a choice.'  
  
He grinned wryly as he penned the next paragraph.  
  
'Yep, you've officially lost it, Akuma, you just sprang a bombshell on a book. Bah. This is why I don't talk much. Well, that plus the little fact that everyone happens to be terrified of me. Erm, almost everyone, excepting the goofball who happens to be my best friend and semi-official koibito, and Yuugi-sama's favourite monster. Yes, the Dark Magician. Yes, he's my friend. Yes, I call little Yuugi as well as the pharaoh "master." Yes, I answer theoretical questions in my head like this as a general thing. Yes, I need a hobby.'  
  
He wrinkled his nose as he saw how off-topic his ramblings had become. /Focus, Akuma, focus./  
  
'Tangents. Whee. Back on the carousel, please, don't crowd.'  
  
Skritch skritch...  
  
'Anyway, explanations. In case it wasn't obvious, I'm not exactly a happy little ray of sunshine. I suppose I deserve it when Kageri calls me "Vincent," though I'm not sure it's healthy for him to be so obsessed with Final Fantasy VII (Yes, VII, not 7! Why does everyone always put 7? Sure, it means the same thing, but it looks wrong... BAH! Now I'M picking up on his obsession!) .... Okay, so I'm the pot calling the jar greedy.(1) Time to change the subject.'  
  
"I activate the Dark Magic Ritual! Come forth, Magician of Black Chaos!"  
  
One slightly pointed ear twitched at that.  
  
'Whoops, that's my cue.'  
  
The magician quickly slammed the book shut, tied his pen to it and shoved the whole thing under his bed, conjuring himself into his leather battle outfit and grabbing the ornamented staff that was leaning against the wall next to his bed before vanishing into a portal to the dueling field.  
  
Later that evening...  
Akuma eased himself down onto his bed, careful not to disturb the other magician who was curled up next to him, as he scrawled an entry into his journal.  
  
'I hate Seto Kaiba. I hate him, hate his Brain Control card, and HATE the fact that he used that PIECE OF SHIT on me. I was forced to attack Kageri by that son of a bitch!'   
  
The Magician of Black Chaos growled under his breath as he recalled the look of hurt shock on the younger mage's face as Akuma had sent him to the graveyard.  
  
'It is official: This means war. I'm off to booby-trap his house.'  
  
Akuma shut his journal, re-tied his pen to the cord holding it closed, shoved it under his bed and created a portal to the home of Seto Kaiba, teenage CEO, leaving a sleeping Dark Magician alone in said bed.  
  
The next day...  
The magician dug under his bed, retrieving the small book and his pen, then flopped on said bed and began scribbling in said book, a self-satisfied look on his handsome face.  
  
'I have three things to say to YOU: Ha. Ha. Ha. I shall live off the memory of Seto Kaiba dressed in nothing but his underwear and drenched in cranberry juice for a long, long time. (Who knew he slept in his boxer shorts? I certainly didn't. *innocently*) Especially with the blackmail photos I took. Maybe I'll just "accidentally" drop them next time the pharaoh duels the tomb robber... Heh.'  
  
A wicked grin spread across his face as he added a few more sentences.  
  
'THAT would be truly hilarious. I can just see it now. The crazy tomb robber and his psycho blond bed-buddy blackmailing Seto Kaiba with THOSE PICTURES....'   
  
At this point the Magician of Black Chaos found it impossible to write anymore; he was simply laughing too hard to try. So back under the bed the journal went, after which he forgot all about it, because of a certain Dark Magician who was straddling his stomach and demanding an apology for being left alone...   
  
The day after that...  
"Hey, Akuma, do you know where my pants went?" Kageri, the Dark Magician, called from where he lay on the floor, his torso hidden under his bed.  
"What, the purple ones?" Akuma yelled back from the living room, not bothering to look up from his book.  
"No, I'm wearing those! I mean the navy blue ones!" The younger magician was by now almost entirely under his bed, poking into the farthest corners in an effort to find his lost clothing.  
"Try under my bed. You weren't exactly neat yesterday, and there's a black hole under there anyway..."(2)   
"If you say so!"  
Kageri squeezed out from under his bed, shook his rumpled hair out of his eyes, and walked into Akuma's room, where he made a beeline for the bed and stuck his head under it. There were the lost leggings, lying on top of a small, black book...  
"You were right! I found 'em!" He called, before snagging the book and the leggings, wrapping the one up in the other, and going back to his room. There was a click as the door locked, a thump-thump-SQUEAK noise as he tromped across the room and flopped on his bed, and then the quiet rustling of the pages as he opened the journal and began to read, smiling fondly at Akuma's random thoughts, immortalized on cream-colored parchment. He paused at one entry, re-read it, and smirked.  
"Heh. I must remember to thank him for giving those photos to Bakura and Ishtar..."  
"Well, why don't you get around to it, then?" Kageri EEP!-ed, slammed the book shut, and turned around, meeting Akuma's eyes and blushing guiltily.  
"Uhh...." He shrank back against the wall and offered Akuma the book. "I-is this yours?"  
"Yes, yes it is." Akuma snatched the book away from his purple-haired koibito and tucked it under his arm.  
"Why didn't you tell me you were going to pelt Seto Kaiba with cranberry juice? I would have helped you!" Kageri pouted.  
"After being sent to the graveyard twice in one duel, I figured you needed rest. Besides, you looked so cute lying there and snoring that I didn't have the heart to disturb you."   
"Yeah, yeah..." The Dark Magician blushed, and the Magician of Black Chaos smiled fondly.  
"Besides, wasn't the apology you got more fun than any prank you could have pulled on Kaiba anyway?"   
Kageri smirked. "Remind me."  
  
Akuma grinned wickedly. "With pleasure."  
~End  
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1: Pot of Greed is a Magic card from the Legend of the Blue-Eyes White Dragon set, which allows you to draw two cards. Jar of Greed is a Trap from Labrynth of Nightmare, which allows you to draw one card. I thought they'd make a nice analogy.  
2: There really IS a black hole under my bed O.o; No, really! 


End file.
